Webster's Guide to Male and Female Language

" Wants & needs :
Female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled in a relationship.
Male: Food, sex and beer.

Communication:
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the guys.

Butt:
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: The organ of mooning (and farting)

.
Commitment :
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend.

Entertainment :
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

Flatulence:
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

Glass ceiling :

Female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising to the upper levels in business.
Male: What would really be great at work since that hot babe took over the office one flight up.

Lesbian :
Female: A woman who makes love to other women.
Male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can watch and get really turned on.

Making love :

Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

Remote control :

Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2 minutes.

Taste :
Female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're cooking, to make sure it's good.
Male: Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Thingie:
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

Vulnerable :
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing ball without a cup. "

Hope I made you smile

"The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) is not just an athlete.... She is now a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, Picabo, ICU."